Julia "ProbablyNeverExisted" Nolastname is allegedly Eels' dead girlfriend. The story goes that they fought at Eli's house (possibly over his clitordick or three second sex spasms), got hit by a car, and Eli now feels guilty over it even though he (allegedly) didn't tell her to go kill herself and he played no actual part in it. This helps illustrate that Eels is a Gary Stu, as he feels guilt over something that's not his fault, and we're expected to feel sympathy for him over this despite us NEVER seeing ANY of Julia, him only being in one (shitty) season, and his overall assholeness.


Eli shows off his crappy photoshop skills.

Julia as mythEdit

NOTE: This list is incomplete as of right now.

  • We know absolutely nothing about her other than Eli's girlfriend and that she's supposedly dead.
  • Whenever Eli does something bad (which happens a lot) he blames it on "grief" over Julia, despite not acting like a person in actual grief.
  • He ONLY brings her up whenever it's convenient for him.
  • She was played by a Russian actress. She's too pretty to be Eli's girlfriend unless she just photographs REALLY well.